The baby registry should have things for the mother too

A new mother comes home from the maternity ward to forty bodysuits, three plush rabbits and a mobile for the cot. Nobody has bought anything for her. She has just given birth, is sleeping in two-hour pieces and is learning to feed a baby with one hand. Most registries are built entirely around the baby, and the person recovering is left with the leftovers. Put a few things on the list for her and the first months get easier for the whole house.

Recovery comes first

She needs nursing bras that do not dig in, pyjamas soft enough to sleep in and open enough to feed in at three in the morning, and a decent shower gel for the ten minutes she gets alone. A one-litre water bottle with a straw sounds like nothing and is one of the best gifts on the list. Breastfeeding makes you permanently thirsty, and there is only ever one free hand.

Something for her head belongs here too. A year of a meditation app, an adult colouring book or an audiobook subscription gives her a break that does not involve leaving the house, or even standing up.

Small things that make the day easier

A hands-free pump lets her eat breakfast while expressing. Meal vouchers or a slow cooker cover the days when nobody has cooked by seven. A caddy that hangs on the bed and holds the water, the phone, the muslin and the nipple cream saves a lot of getting up during a forty-minute feed.

A monitor that works on the phone, a white noise machine and a night light that switches on when she moves take some of the edge off the nights. These are the gifts that tell her someone thought about what half past three actually looks like.

Feeding, whichever way she does it

A feeding pillow, a dozen muslins and breast pads are the least exciting things anyone will buy, and they get used at every feed, eight times a day. If she bottle-feeds, a steriliser, a bottle warmer and a formula dispenser take the waiting out of a hungry baby at midnight.

A proper feeding chair, one with arms and a back she can lean into, turns feeding from something that hurts into something close to a rest. Add a throw and a cushion and she will choose that chair over the sofa. It is expensive, and it is exactly the thing the grandparents and the aunts can contribute to together.

Something to keep

The newborn weeks go past in a blur, and tired parents never get round to recording them. A baby book, a set of milestone cards or a subscription that prints the phone photos every month captures it without adding a job to the list. A hand and footprint kit becomes the thing in the drawer that nobody will ever throw away. A frame for the first photo, or a milestone blanket for the monthly picture, does the same with even less effort.

The fourth trimester needs its own gifts

The three months after the birth get called the fourth trimester, because the body is still recovering long after the hospital bracelet comes off. Supportive postpartum underwear, a healing balm and a pair of comfortable shoes for swollen feet deal with things most new mothers put up with in silence. A couple of visits from a lactation consultant, or a few hours of a postnatal support service, can matter more than any outfit for the baby.

Vouchers for a cleaner, a grocery delivery or a dog walker (if there is a dog looking neglected in the corner) buy back time that would otherwise go to chores instead of sleep.

You can create a baby registry that covers the mother as well as the baby, so friends and family have a clear way to help in the months when she most needs it.