Baby shower gifts new parents actually use

The wipe warmer we got at our baby shower is still in its box in the attic. The pack of twelve muslin cloths from a colleague was in the wash every day for a year. Some gifts solve a problem at three in the morning, and some only look good on the registry. After two children and a lot of showers, this is how the two piles sort out.

The things parents use every single day

A good carrier, an Ergobaby or a stretchy wrap, keeps the baby close and gives you both hands back for the washing-up. A white noise machine does more for sleep than any book on the subject. Muslin cloths, bought by the dozen, save an outfit change after every feed. None of these look like much in the gift bag, and all of them get used until they fall apart.

The same goes for a baby bath with proper back support, more cot sheets than sounds reasonable (four is a minimum, given what comes out of a baby at night), and a monitor that works from the garden. A nappy bin with a proper seal is nobody's idea of a pretty gift, and every parent who does ten changes a day is grateful for it.

Buy something for the parents too

Once the baby is there, nobody asks how the parents are. That is why gifts aimed at them land so well. A voucher for a meal delivery, or four homemade lasagnes for the freezer, matter in the weeks when cooking is out of the question. A good feeding pillow helps with every feed and with sitting down at all after the birth.

Small comforts count more than they would at any other time: a decent shower gel, a soft dressing gown, three months of a coffee subscription. A photo album for the first year, or one honest parenting book, shows you thought past the basics. A parent who has slept and eaten makes for a calmer baby.

Gifts that earn their keep later

Some things on the registry only prove themselves months after the shower. A pram that converts to a pushchair as the child grows is still in use at three. A car seat that grows with the child avoids buying two more in as many years, provided it meets the current safety standard.

Toys that suit several stages last longest: wooden blocks, a small xylophone, a cloth book with different textures. A high chair like the Tripp Trapp that turns into a normal chair keeps working long after the baby is a schoolchild.

What usually ends up in the cupboard

Newborn and 0 to 3 month clothes. Babies grow out of them in six weeks, and every relative buys them. Clothes in size 6 to 12 months get far more use, and by then the gifts have stopped coming.

Skip the very specific items unless you know the plan. Bottles and feeding kit depend on whether the parents breastfeed, use formula or both, and you rarely know in advance. A themed nursery set can clash with whatever the parents had in mind for the room, and anything scented is best left in the shop, since so many babies react to it.

Toys with flashing lights and a loud tune overwhelm a baby and grate on parents who have not slept. A quiet wooden rattle wins.

Building the registry

A good registry runs from 10 to 300 so every guest finds something, and it mixes the immediate necessities with things for later and one or two keepsakes. Group similar items together, and name the brand where it matters; two different bottle systems in the house is a small daily annoyance for a year.

Add an experience or two next to the objects: a newborn photo session, a baby massage course. Parents rarely book these for themselves, and they are the ones a group of colleagues can pay for together.

You can create a baby registry in a few minutes and build it around what you will actually pick up every day, so the guests know what to bring and nothing goes to the attic in its box.