Baby shower gifts new parents actually use

The wipe warmer from the baby shower sits in its box in the attic. The pack of twelve muslin cloths from a colleague is in the wash every day for a year. Some gifts solve a problem at three in the morning, and some only look good on the registry. This is roughly how the two piles sort out.

The things parents use every single day

A good carrier, an Ergobaby or a stretchy wrap, keeps the baby close and gives you both hands back for the washing-up. A white noise machine does more for sleep than any book on the subject. Muslin cloths, bought by the dozen, save an outfit change after every feed. None of these look like much in the gift bag, and all of them get used until they fall apart.

The same goes for a baby bath with proper back support, more cot sheets than sounds reasonable (four at least, given what comes out of a baby at night), and a monitor that works from the garden. A nappy bin with a proper seal is nobody's idea of a pretty gift, but every parent doing ten changes a day is grateful for it.

Buy something for the parents too

Once the baby is there, nobody asks how the parents are doing. That is why gifts aimed at them go down so well. A voucher for a meal delivery, or four homemade lasagnes for the freezer, makes a real difference in the weeks when cooking is out of the question. A good feeding pillow helps with every feed, and with sitting down at all after the birth.

Small comforts count for more than they would at any other time: a decent shower gel, a soft dressing gown, three months of a coffee subscription. A photo album for the first year, or one honest parenting book, shows you thought beyond the basics. Parents who have slept and eaten tend to have a calmer baby.

Gifts that earn their keep later

Some things on the registry only prove themselves months after the shower. A pram that converts to a pushchair as the child grows is still in use at three. A car seat that grows with the child saves buying two more in as many years, provided it meets the current safety standard.

Toys that suit several stages last longest: wooden blocks, a small xylophone, a cloth book with different textures. A high chair like the Tripp Trapp, which turns into a normal chair, keeps working long after the baby has started school.

What usually ends up in the cupboard

Newborn and 0 to 3 month clothes. Babies grow out of them in six weeks, and every relative buys them. Clothes in size 6 to 12 months get far more use, and by then the gifts have stopped coming.

Skip the very specific items unless you know the plan. Bottles and feeding kit depend on whether the parents breastfeed, use formula or both, and you rarely know in advance. A themed nursery set can clash with whatever the parents had in mind for the room. Anything scented is best left in the shop, since so many babies react to it.

Toys with flashing lights and a loud tune overwhelm a baby and grate on parents who have not slept. Go for a quiet wooden rattle.

Building the registry

A good registry runs from small, cheap things to a few big-ticket items so every guest finds something, and it mixes the things needed right away with things for later and one or two keepsakes. Group similar items together, and name the brand where it matters, because two different bottle systems in one house are a small daily annoyance for a year.

Add an experience or two next to the objects, like a newborn photo session or a baby massage course. Parents rarely book these for themselves, and a group of colleagues can easily pay for one together.

You can create a baby registry in a few minutes and build it around what you will actually pick up every day. Guests who want to bring something can see what helps, and nothing ends up in the attic in its box.