Build his Father's Day wishlist before 21 June

Father's Day is on 21 June this year. That is four weeks away, which is enough time to find out what he actually wants and for the rest of the family to sort out who buys what. Leave it until the 19th and he gets a bottle of whisky from one of you and a tie from another, same as last year.

Getting him to say what he wants

Ask most fathers directly and you get "nothing, really". The useful answers come out sideways. The hedge trimmer that died in April. The bike he keeps saying he will get back on. The phone charger held together with tape. Those passing complaints make the best entries on any list, so write them down when you hear them.

It also helps to make the question about someone else. "Your sister keeps asking me what you want" gets a proper answer far more often than "What do you want for Father's Day?" Fathers who would never put themselves first will happily help a daughter out of a fix.

What belongs on the list

A good list covers a few price ranges and a few kinds of gift, so whoever is buying has a real choice. On lists that work, the mix usually looks something like this.

• Something for the hobby he already has: a new fly reel, a Japanese chisel, a 50 mm lens, a pizza steel for the oven
• Something for sitting down: a bag of beans from the roaster in town, a Kindle case, a proper reading lamp
• The everyday item he never replaces himself: the wallet with the broken zip, the work boots with the split sole, the earphones from 2016
• A day out instead of an object: tickets for the match, a table at the steak place, a go-kart session with the grandchildren
• One small luxury he would not buy on his own, like a decent shaving soap or a box of the good chorizo

Skip the novelty mug. He has four.

Keeping the family from buying the same thing

The main reason to build the list early is to avoid duplicates and budgets that do not match. Share it with the family once it has eight or ten items on it. Each person reserves what they plan to buy, so your brother cannot pick the chisel as well, and your father does not see who reserved what.

Make sure there are cheap things and expensive things. A grandchild with pocket money and an adult child with a salary should both be able to find something. For the one expensive item, say an e-bike conversion kit, let three or four people who want to share it chip in together, so it does not fall to whoever earns the most.

Keep the list going all year

The lists that work best get added to in October and February, when nobody is thinking about Father's Day. If he adds the bike computer the day he sees it, the list in June shows things he has wanted for months, and nothing on it was made up in a hurry the week before.

Put in the details: brand, size, colour, model number. Shoe size 44, the Garmin Edge 540 and no other one, the navy jumper and not the black. That stops a well-meaning uncle from buying the nearly right version that stays in the wardrobe. A short note on why he wants something helps too, and makes the gift easier to hand over with a straight face.

You can create a wishlist for him now, paste in the three things he mentioned last week, and add the rest as they come up between now and 21 June.