A Secret Santa for a long weekend away

Twelve people rent the same house in the Ardennes every Whitsun weekend, and one year somebody suggests a Secret Santa on the Saturday night. In May, with no tree in sight. Groups that try it often keep it as the fixed point of the weekend. A long weekend gives you something the Christmas version never has: time, and people who are already in the same house.

A long weekend suits it better than December does

Everyone has arrived, nobody is rushing off to a work party, and the exchange fits inside things that are happening anyway: a long dinner, a board game, an afternoon of doing nothing. It works with six family members or a house of twenty old friends. Keep the rules short, so nobody spends the drive there worrying about it.

Agree the budget and three rules before anyone shops

Keep the budget modest, about what a paperback and a good bar of chocolate cost together. It is enough for a proper gift and small enough that the student in the group is not quietly counting. Before the shopping starts, settle these:

• The limit, and that everyone sticks to it
• Whether homemade counts (it is worth allowing, because the homemade jam tends to win)
• A theme, if you want one: funny, useful, or something from where you live
• Whether the giver is revealed on the night or stays secret until the drive home

The easiest way to sort out who buys for whom is to draw names online a couple of weeks ahead. Everyone gets their person by email, with the budget and any notes, and nobody has to pretend they did not see the paper when it was unfolded.

Small gifts that fit a weekend away

Things for the sofa go down well, because that is where the weekend is spent: a wool throw, thick socks, a candle, a tin of proper hot chocolate. They suit the mood and get used before the weekend is over.

Something from where you live is the other safe choice. A bar of soap from the market, beans from the local roaster, a bag of biscuits from the bakery in your street. It comes with a story you can tell when it is opened.

Games do double duty. A card game like Skyjo, a 500-piece puzzle or a small board game gets opened on Saturday and played on Sunday. Small self-care things like a face mask, a bath bomb or a good hand cream are cheap, light to pack and welcome to nearly everyone.

Use the extra hours for the handover

With a whole weekend, the handover can be more than a parcel passed across the table. Hide the gifts around the house and garden with a clue for each. Run a gift café on Sunday morning, where people open their present over coffee and croissants. Or have each giver explain in one minute why they chose what they chose. If there are children in the house, make them the couriers. They love being the only ones who know.

Make it a tradition

Take the photos, of course, but a small ritual lasts longer than a photo album. Keep a note with each gift saying why it was chosen, in a box that comes back every year. Or take one group photo where everyone holds what they got, in the same spot on the same step.

Suggest that everyone create a wishlist before the draw, with three or four things at different prices. The giver stops guessing, and the gift is still a surprise, because nobody knows which item was picked.

Someone will forget a gift, or spend well over the limit. Let it go. The weekend is about the people in the house, and the exchange is an excuse to sit round one table for an hour.

Once the dates are fixed, you can organise a Secret Santa in a few minutes and have every name drawn before the first car leaves.