A Secret Santa for a long weekend away

Every Whitsun weekend, twelve of us rent the same house in the Ardennes. Three years ago somebody suggested a Secret Santa on the Saturday night, in May, with no tree in sight. It has become the fixed point of the weekend. A long weekend gives you something the Christmas version never has: time, and people who are already in the same house.

A long weekend suits it better than December does

Everyone has arrived, nobody is rushing to a work party, and the exchange fits inside things already happening: a long dinner, a board game, an afternoon of doing nothing. It works with six family members or a house of twenty old friends. Keep the rules short, so nobody spends the drive there worrying about it.

Agree the budget and three rules before anyone shops

Between 15 and 30 is the right range. Enough for a proper gift, small enough that the student in the group is not quietly counting. Before the shopping starts, settle these:

• The limit, and that it is a limit, not a suggestion
• Whether homemade counts (in our house it is encouraged, and the jam wins every year)
• A theme, if you want one: funny, useful, or something from where you live
• Whether the giver is revealed on the night or stays secret until the drive home

The easiest way to sort the pairing is to draw names online a couple of weeks ahead. Everyone gets their person by email, with the budget and any notes, and nobody has to pretend they did not see the paper when it was unfolded.

Gifts under 30 that fit a weekend away

Things for the sofa go down well, because that is where the weekend is spent: a wool throw, thick socks, a candle, a tin of proper hot chocolate. They match the mood and get used before the weekend is over.

Something from where you live is the other reliable choice. A bar of soap from the market, beans from the local roaster, a bag of biscuits from the bakery in your street. It comes with a story, and the story is half the gift.

Games do double duty. A card game like Skyjo, a 500-piece puzzle or a small board game gets opened on Saturday and played on Sunday. And the small self-care things, a face mask, a bath bomb, a good hand cream, are cheap, light to pack and welcome by nearly everyone.

Use the extra hours on the handover

With a whole weekend, the handover can be more than a parcel across the table. Hide the gifts around the house and garden with a clue each. Run a gift café on Sunday morning, where people open their present with coffee and croissants. Or have each giver tell, in one minute, why they chose what they chose. If there are children in the house, make them the couriers. They love being the only ones who know.

Make it a tradition

Take the photos, of course, but a small ritual lasts longer than a photo album. A note with each gift saying why it was chosen, kept in a box that comes back every year, or one group photo where everyone holds what they got, taken in the same spot on the same step.

Ask everyone to create a wishlist before the draw, with three or four things at different prices. The giver stops guessing, and the gift stays a surprise, because nobody knows which item was picked.

Someone will forget a gift, or spend 45 instead of 30. Let it go. The weekend is about the people in the house, and the exchange is an excuse to sit round one table for an hour.

When the dates are fixed, you can organise a Secret Santa in a few minutes and have every name drawn before the first car leaves.