Start your Christmas list in September

The people who buy for you in the second week of December are working from memory and a half-empty shelf. By then the popular Lego set is sold out, the book is waiting for a reprint and the headphones have gone up in price. A list written in September, while nobody is thinking about Christmas, gets you the right thing in the right size.

What September gives you that December does not

Three months. That is enough time to work out what you actually want before the shop windows start making suggestions, and enough for the people buying to spread the cost over three pay days. The things on a September list are the ones you have wanted for a while. The things on a list made on 20 December are whatever was still in stock.

It also means the family can sort out the practical side while everyone is still calm. A draw for the cousins, a budget for the adults and the question of who is hosting are much easier to settle in September than in the week the presents are already bought.

What to put on the list

A good Christmas list is a mix, so the aunt with a small budget and the parents who want to spend more both find something:

• An experience: a concert in the spring, a cookery course, two nights in a cabin that several people can chip in on
• Things you would buy anyway, in the better version: merino socks, a proper frying pan, the Kobo you have been putting off
• Something for the hobby you have now, with the exact model: the Shimano pedals, the Winsor and Newton set, the 1000-piece Ravensburger
• A small luxury: a bag of coffee from the roaster in town, a Leuchtturm notebook, the good hand cream
• One subscription: the magazine, the streaming service you keep cancelling, a museum pass

Spread the prices from small things to a few pricier ones, with one bigger thing above that marked as a group gift. If everything on the list costs about the price of a dinner out, half your relatives head for the candle aisle.

Get family and friends started too

Once your own list is done, suggest the others make one too. One message is enough: "Made mine, in case anyone is wondering. Would help if you did one too." The people who groan about lists in September are the same ones who send "what do you want?" on the 22nd.

Use the same message to settle the logistics. Are the adults doing a draw this year, what is the budget, and does everyone still buy for the children? Sorting that out in September saves you the December conversation where two people have already bought for everyone and the rest have not started.

Shop as if you have time, because you do

With three months to go, you buy when something is available at a fair price, and then you stop. A good share of what sells out in December is on the shelf in October at the normal price, and waiting for a sale that may never come does not improve anything on a good list. Buy the headphones when you see them.

Keep one note on your phone for other people: the idea for your sister that came up at dinner, the thing your father mentioned in passing. By November it holds most of your shopping, and you can buy the right present on the spot, six weeks before you would have tried to remember it.

Handmade and personalised presents need this lead time most. A photo book, a print from a local illustrator or a piece of furniture from a friend who builds things all take weeks, and September is when there is still time.

The list can still change

A September list is a starting point. You will add something in October and drop something in November, and nobody minds as long as the version people see is up to date. Go through it once a month, and again in the first week of December when the buying really starts.

Make writing it a small occasion: a pot of tea, the family in the room, everyone adding to their own list while the ideas are fresh.

Start this week, while there is still no Christmas music in the shops. You can create a Christmas list in a few minutes and have the link ready for the first person who asks what you would like.