Birthday gifts for toddlers under three that get used

Our nephew got a remote-control car for his second birthday. He played with the box for a week and the car went in a cupboard. Buying for a child under three is harder than it looks, because what delights them at 14 months bores them at 20. This is what has held up across the toddler birthdays in our family.

Match the gift to the stage, not the age

Babies under a year want things they can grab, chew and stare at. Soft rattles, crinkly cloth books and those black-and-white contrast cards that look dull to adults and fascinate a four-month-old. Around the first birthday, a push-along walker or an activity table gives them something to pull up on.

Between one and two, hands take over. A shape sorter, stacking rings and puzzles with three or four big wooden pieces are the gifts that get used every day. From two to three, they are ready for Duplo, a box of dressing-up clothes and chunky crayons or washable markers. Emphasis on washable.

What counts as safe

The toilet-roll test still works. If a piece fits through a cardboard tube, it is too small for a child under three. Long strings, cords, sharp edges and anything that shatters are out as well.

Look at the age label and safety mark on the box rather than guessing. Soft toys should survive a washing machine, wooden toys should have a smooth finish with no splinters, and anything electronic needs a battery cover you have to unscrew. Everything goes in the mouth at this age, so the paint and plastic matter more than they would for a six-year-old.

Toys that keep working as they grow

Some gifts do not get outgrown in a month. A small keyboard or a drum starts as cause and effect for a one-year-old (hit it, it makes a sound) and turns into music-making by three. A ride-on toy is a foot-powered scooter at first and a spaceship in a game of pretend later.

Books are the best example. A board book with one picture per page works for a baby, then becomes the thing a toddler points at while learning words. Wooden blocks go from being knocked over to being built into towers to being a garage for cars, all with the same set.

Experiences and practical gifts count too

A year's membership to the zoo, a pass for the children's museum or a block of swimming lessons gets used more than another toy on the shelf, and it drags the parents out of the house on a wet Sunday. Grandparents often like giving this kind of gift because they can come along.

Practical presents land better than you would think. Clothes in the next size up, warm pyjamas, a plate and cup set with the child's name on. Bath toys, especially cups for pouring and anything that floats, turn the evening bath into play without adding to the pile in the living room.

Cheap gifts toddlers actually love

A sensory bottle costs nothing: an empty water bottle filled with rice, buttons or glitter and the lid glued shut. Scraps of different fabrics sewn together make a texture blanket for the price of the thread.

Household objects beat expensive toys more often than not. Measuring cups, a wooden spoon and a saucepan, the cardboard box the pram came in. A basket of safe things from around the house, in different shapes and materials, keeps a toddler busy far longer than most things with a battery.

A small photo book of family, the dog and the child's own room helps with words and is a comfort at bedtime. Most online print services make one for around 10 or 15.

Avoid three of the same toy

If you are planning the party, create a birthday wishlist with a spread of prices and a mix of the categories above. Relatives can pick something the child will use, and you will not open three shape sorters. The child will not remember the gift anyway. They will remember the box.